What is a mother in the gay community

While usually well-meaning, this doesn't always sit well with people who have had to navigate finding their own mothers in a world that has not been very maternal. These Are 'Mother' Times," noting how many straight pop stars and actresses were being referred to with the endearment.

As LeeLee James told the Washington Post: "It is a disservice to just pick and choose the parts of ballroom culture that people find beautiful while ignoring the histories of pain that have led to that culture being the beautiful thing that it is.

Skip to main content Family Out Loud Parenting. She is the nurturing head of a chosen family unit who makes her queer “children” feel less marginalised “by providing housing, community, healthcare and safety”. Butch and masculine lesbians, too, challenge expectations around parenthood, gender, and what family looks like.

The way queer people relate to motherhood, parenthood, and family is never. All told, the word "mother" carries unique, nuanced, and often deeply emotional connotations within LGBTQ communities.

What Does Mother Mean

Though often tragically associated with traditional femininity and cis womanhood, there are many trans and gender nonconforming people who choose to experience pregnancy and parenthood. But in an age when concepts like " re-mothering the inner child " and " mother hunger " are openly discussed, mothers are more than just an individual.

The way queer people relate to motherhood, parenthood, and family is never universal. But there are also unique ways that queer people relate to — and re-create — motherhood. Being Mother not only meant leading her house to success and belonging in ballroom, but also meant that Blanca took on the responsibility of mothering young queer people — many of whom were disowned and frequently homeless.

And for the many queer folks who chose to pursue parenthood, starting their own family can come with the fresh challenge of expensive fertility care, navigating a maze of insurance regulationsdiscriminatory adoption policies, and a less-than-welcoming healthcare environment.

Two children were adopted, and inReese gave birth to their third child. “Mother” is, these days, a label bestowed upon certain celebrities, and the term has now cemented itself in the queer dictionary of internet vernacular, alongside “daddy”.

What does “mother” mean? It's not uncommon to see people on the internet declare pop stars like Taylor Swift or Demi Lovato as "mother. Mothers are simultaneously a concept, generations of relationships, a role, a sometimes-mix of blessings and constraint, and a real-life person all rolled up into one.

But, often, it is beautiful. Mother, at its most basic, refers to someone who has stepped into a maternal role, whether for an individual queer person, a community of queer folks, or a generation of queer people more broadly.

InFX's hit drama series "Pose" brought queer ballroom culture to the mainstageand along with it, a different kind of motherhood. Later, Moraga's memoir " Native Country of the Heart " explores the death of her mother. For queer people especially, relationships with mothers can be challenging — disownment, conditional love, and the pressure to conform are the cornerstones of many people's relationships or lack thereof with their mothers.

I'm OK being a man who has a uterus and has the capacity and capability of carrying a baby. The term mother, as it's used here, means something very specific, and is particularly important to the histories and lives of Black and Brown trans women.

I don't feel like it makes me any less of a man. All told, the word "mother" carries unique, nuanced, and often deeply emotional connotations within LGBTQ communities. I just happen to be a man who is able to carry a baby.

Lately, though, the ballroom language of "Mother" has spread beyond Black and Brown queer communities. In addition to being a queer term meant to describe a the head of a chosen family group, the idea of motherhood often means something different to queer people who choose to have biological children.

For better or hopefully not worse, most of us have a mother. Even the idea that a mother is necessary to starting a family misses the ways that queer people relate to and have their own children. He points out that the “drag mother” is often not just a “mentor”, but also “literally a parent to estranged queer kids”.

Others, like Sofia, recognize that the word is being appropriated by those outside of the queer community, but take no issue with the internet’s use of mother. Probably one of the most well-known queer parents, Trystan Reese and Biff Chaplowhave three children.

“Mother” has become a staple of gay slang in recent years, but what does it actually mean?